I cruised in the countryside, the darkness outside contrasted with the illumination of the added gadgets daddy had on his dashboard and panel, I felt power surge through me, as the vibrations and noise from the engine, and road surged through the steering column, the sense of solitude and being in charge of such a powerhouse, surged through me, my nipples hardened as did my clitoris, and I felt myself squeeze my thighs tight, I instinctively knew I needed a fuck, I was horny, and my body was alive and tingling, all I needed was a man, so I dropped through the gears and came to a halt, at the side of the road, turned off the engine and headlights, and waited.Ahead of me lay a small pub, I looked at the dash clock and it read, 22:50, I could feel my heart quicken, soon it would empty and men would pour forth, and an eighteen year old girl would choose one of them to gratify her sexual urges, and as the door swung open, I reached down and undid my jean's button, and eased to zipper all. My eyes would then open in the dark and I’d be holding nothing but thin air, alone with my tears. I’d tighten my fist, my nails piercing my skin, hard, until I’d bleed, hating myself, hating my life, though no one ever noticed the cuts. Why was I cursed like this? I didn’t know, I’d never know. I knew I could never have you, that there would always be a wall between us, a wall that only I could see. Each time you visited, part of me wanted to hide, it hurt so much to see you. But I couldn’t help it. I loved you so much.One day you brought back a girlfriend. I figured you’d be getting busy in college but knowing for certain made it so much worse. I could hear you fucking through the walls, could hear the bedsprings straining and swaying, could hear you both trying to stifle the sounds of your sex as she moaned your name, Thomas, Tommy harder, faster, more, more, more. All I could think was that that should have been me in your bed. Me, feeling your head against my opening, poised to.
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